Every one of us goes through something in our lives that breaks our sense of trust and expectations of fidelity and loyalty. The biggest cause of trust issues in romantic and intimate relationships is we open ourselves up to people who we believed wanted us – only to find out later on that they didn’t really want you at all. In this kind of scenario, most people would begin to build walls up around their heart and emotions, in they fear that they will eventually get hurt again. This is the way the human mind protects itself from danger, hence why bottling up your emotions is a survival mechanism. We do this because we are completely terrified of being judged by others for being who we truly are – our raw, authentic self. We are afraid of showing others our fears and insecurities because we falsely tell ourselves that no one could truly accept us and love us completely.
However, when it comes to vulnerability, it must be done tactfully, otherwise it can go against you, especially if its always one sided. When emotional vulnerability is done correctly between two people, this is where real trust, intimacy and faithfulness can develop in romantic relationships, family relationships, and friendships. You don’t need to have sex or kiss someone to be intimate with them. You just have to show your true feelings to them without fear or judgement. The real reason why many of us have trust issues is because we always relied on other people’s opinions of ourselves and our decisions instead of listening to our own inner knowing and beliefs. This causes our confidence levels to go down and makes us desperate for other people’s approval, when in reality we are in complete control of our life and where it takes us.
People can only give us advice to a certain point – to help us get to where we need to be. Sometimes this can be great and other times it can hinder us and lead us to self-doubt and overthinking. If you know your life purpose and want to follow your dreams, listen to your heart and to those around you who love you and believe in you. Let go of naysayers and people who always crush your confidence and faith – you don’t deserve those people in your life.
How To Build Trust & Overcome Trust Issues:
Step 1: Increase Confidence, Inner Strength & Personal Power
As mentioned earlier, a lot of trust issues stem from a lack of confidence and low self worth. There are many ways that can help boost your self-confidence, such as daily affirmations and doing new activities that get you out of your comfort zone. Getting out of your comfort zone is one of the best ways to boost your confidence, and without it you cannot build trust not only with yourself, but with other people too. By doing this at your own pace, you will gradually become more confident with yourself and those around you.
Step 2: Change The Negative Inner Dialogue
People who have trust issues are prone to believing in the worst case scenario and creating dysfunctional assumptions about another person, when in reality their partner wasn’t even thinking or considering it in the first place. This can also happen to ourselves, especially when we are trying something new for the first time – say for example riding a bike. When we first sit on the bike, we imagine ourselves falling off and hurting ourselves. Instead we need to visualise us succeeding and changing the phrase “I can’t do this” to “I can do this”. This is the same with intimate relationships as well but instead of ‘I’ it becomes ‘We’.
Step 3: Let Go of Past Hurts, Failures & Mistakes
Although this step maybe very difficult for some people, but when you change your perception about the past – it becomes a lot easier to let go of no matter how painful it may be. The more you see your past experiences as lessons rather than painful traumas, you begin to grow and develop a lot more smoothly. What we have experienced in the past, is a part of our soul’s journey, just like it is right now – here in the present moment. In actual fact, pain is our friend as experiencing it can teach us vital lessons about our values, morals and gives us the opportunity to find out what we truly want. This is why heartbreak, although painful it may be, it is very beneficial for us because it opens up the knowledge and wisdom of what we need to feel secure, loved and connected.
Thank you so much for reading.