1. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Feel your lungs expand as you inhale and deflate as you exhale. Notice how your body changes as life flow in and out of your spirit. Allow it to bring you deeper into your body. Just breathe!
2. Look out your window and smile! Take a moment to appreciate the beauty of the earth. Let in some air, hear the birds, feel the chill of the wind, talk to the trees. Thank Her for all she provides you with.
3. Move with no judgment or worry. Just feel your body, no matter how broken, tired, or aching it is. It is a safe and sacred place. Touch, feel, soothe, and move through every corner of your body. It is not the enemy!
4.Reconnect with the divine. Meditate, pray, visualize, journey deep into the realm of ritual. Transform this silent time into an altar for the divine. Find magic in the mundane, allow your imagination to guide you.
5.Choose yourself! Choose to feel your emotions, honor your needs, and entertain your desires. Sink into your needs and wants at this moment. What is your mind, body, and soul craving? Choose to honor yourself in every moment.
I hope that you all will find the peace you need! Seek it with all your heart and it will greet you with open arms. Thank you for reading.
School is back in session and procrastination is on its way to all of our front doors. So, here are some tips to get past this semester and ace every class. Let’s set some high goals for ourselves. We are capable of anything and everything we set our minds to. With some effort, literally anything is possible. So, here goes the tips:
Realize that whatever you’re avoiding isn’t as bad as your mind makes it to be. Things are ALWAYS easier once you start doing them.
Plan to do a small and not too intimidating portion of the task.-Let’s say you have to read a book for an assignment. Then tell yourself to read 10 pages. Just 10. Later it will turn out to be easier to continue past that but now we need to trick your brain.
Count to 3 and GO! This is one of the smallest things that changed my life. When I really don’t want to do something I just count to three and do it. 3 seconds don’t give you time to doubt yourself and be afraid.
Change your surroundings accordingly. Try to get rid off as many distractions as you can and at the same time make sure your surrounding isn’t unbelievably boring and depressing. Try playing music without lyrics and try to make your study place aesthetically pleasing.
Get your phone away. Either delete your social media apps, turn off your phone, or at least put it out of your reach, or maybe even a different room.
Ask someone to check up on you. If you can, ask someone to come and kick you in the butt if they catch you procrastinating.
Take breaks that can’t turn into procrastination again. Go for a walk, clean something, or just lie down on the floor but no phone and no scrolling! Nothing addictive or time wasting/consuming.
Be kinder to yourself. Beating yourself up over procrastinating and calling yourself bad things will only make you feel shittier and less productive. Be gentle with yourself. Ask yourself to do things nicely.
Sometimes it is okay not to be productive. Blogs like mine can make you think that working all the time is the goal. But it’s not true at all. Sometimes procrastination can be a side effect of exhaustion or a mental illness even. Get some rest if you need it.
I don’t know about you but I certainly feel like I haven’t moved forward in life for months! Quarantine has us tied to our beds, seeing the world through windows or screens. Besides for the feeling stuck because of quarantine, we may feel stuck in our current situations. So, here are some small things you can do to feel less stuck where you are:
Go on a fitness journey. Start eating better,, start exercising or try new ways to move your body. Consistency and progress will make you feel better and more productive.
Change your daily routine. It could be just waking up earlier or switching things up in your routine. Breaking the repetitive pattern will help freshen things up.
Pick up a new hobby. Try something completely new or learn a new skill! Again, seeing progress even in smaller parts of life will be so beneficial to you.
Make things with your hands. Cook, make art, and build things. Leaving physical results that you can see behind is progress.
Spend more time with friends. Whether it’s to share new information, practice new skills, or just to get a good laugh.
Take care of something or someone. Take care of your pet, plants, or just help out local nature! Seeing something grow or learn to trust is an amazing feeling.
Have you ever been in a romantic relationship or friendship with someone who told you that you were too clingy or needy? We have all been there to one degree or another. In my opinion, I do not like the terms ‘needy and ‘clingy’ as being called this by another person who is significant in our lives – is very shameful and demoralizing. Being called this does not offer any help to the person who is strongly attached to someone on an emotional level. In actual fact, being labelled as needy has detrimental effects on our self esteem and it can lead to people feeling depressed, and in worse cases self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
So we need to come from a place of compassion, empathy and understanding, before we point the finger, blame and shame a person for their behavior. Usually people who are classified as ‘needy’ by others in society, have experienced some kind of emotional trauma when they were growing up as a child. This can be anything from having an alcoholic parent, being brought up in a household that didn’t have any emotional support (emotionally unavailable parents), loss of close relatives to illness at a young age, social isolation and shunning by peers at school and bullying. Emotional neglect and the lack of connection, safety and comfort when we were children, is possibly one of the biggest causes of needy behavior.
When we are children, we are heavily dependent on our parents to keep us safe, supported, loved and cared for. When these needs are not met by our parents, this is when dependency issues come in. Once we become adults, we subconsciously search for those who can provide us those needs that we didn’t get as children. In some cases, people can often be attracted to those who will continuously expose the same wound time and time again. It is very common for codependent people to be attracted and fall for narcissistic individuals who will emotionally abuse and abandon them consistently. This vicious cycle can last for many years, if not decades and it can destroy your emotional well-being completely.
People who have been through this, usually are desperate to feel validated, accepted and secure by others – it’s like there is empty part of themselves that needs to be filled so they feel complete and happy. It is very common for people with strong attachment styles to have an extreme fear of being alone, dumped and abandoned. This is because it opens up the same emotional wound of feeling unloved and unwanted, which can be extremely distressing for some people. So when they meet someone who makes them feel like they are literally walking on cloud nine, they automatically get hooked on to them because they believe that they can have the power to fill the emptiness inside themselves and complete them.
This destructive behavior pattern can tear relationships apart, due to the amount of pressure that they put on to the other person. The fear of abandonment can lead to extreme bouts of anxiety, jealousy, and dread. These people can sometimes go to the extremes of looking down their partner’s phone and inbox to make sure that they aren’t texting anyone else to replace them in the future. This sort of behavior, if it’s caught red handed can lead to extreme conflict, emotional pain and eventually a break-up of the friendship or romantic relationship.
The best way to overcome needy behavior, is to connect to your inner child through journaling or meditation techniques. Thank you for reading.
Here’s a list of all the tips, hacks, and advice that stuck with me from reading so many articles, videos and research. Feel free to ask me any questions, or add tips of your own.
Hydration. Make sure you stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water, green tea, and black tea everyday. I know you see this everywhere but it’s true. Just drinking water will do wonders for your skin and your overall health.
Nutrition. Maintain a healthy diet by letting go your toxic, restrictive beliefs on diet and realizing that food is sacred fuel for your body. So, offer your body the best and at lots of vegetables, fruits, nuts, and seeds. Essentially lots of wholefoods.
Incorporate smoothies into your mornings for extra dose of vitamins. Practice mindful, conscious eating, be there in the moment when you are eating, taste the food, and enjoy the experience of it. Meditate over your relationship with food and try to work through any unhealthy beliefs.
Exercise. Pick one or multiple forms of exercise that suits your schedule, lifestyle, and personality. Whether it’s jogging twice a week, going to the gym daily, or even just a fresh walk every evening. Pick what is suitable for YOU and keep it part of your life. Create your own gym routine, hire a trainer, train at home, or in the gym. Whatever works best for you.
Growth Mindset. Maintain a positive mindset that is always open and curious to learning new things, trying new skills, and ever willing to improve itself. Redirect your attention from drama, gossip, and toxic comparison beliefs to healthy ones. Unfollow accounts online or delete all your social media if that’s what you need to do.
Recreate yourself if that’s what you want. Focus on YOUR growth! Make a habit of reading new books, watching TedTalks, documentaries, etc. Look at educating yourself as a way to invest in yourself and a way to honor yourself. Maintain curiosity in your heart for the ways of the universe.
Stay humble and graceful in the face of adversity, but never give up on your dreams, failed attempts are only lessons for improvement, and the only true failure is giving up. As long as you keep going you’re still winning. Bonus tip: comparison is self harm, and a denial of your own power, so remember that nobody can be you and that’s a good thing. You can only be you, so make it count and honor yourself!
Relationships. Don’t cling to relationships and don’t be afraid to lose people. Be your authentic self at all times and do not be afraid to intimidate people or be too much! Those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter. Know that the friends and partners that are meant for you will stay, or will find their way back to you. Be mindful of the dynamic in a relationship, and be self-loving enough to walk away from what is toxic, unhealthy, restrictive, disrespectful, etc. Forgive those that wronged you, but tolerate no mistreatment. You can forgive them from afar, but make sure they’re no longer a part of your life.
Focus & Goals. Keep a journal and as frequently as you can, write down bullet lists of to do lists, goals, dreams, daily reflections, aspects of yourself to improve upon, positive affirmations, wish-list etc. In other words, brainstorm all the things whirling around in your head regarding your own life. Remember all those things you’ve wanted to do? Bucket-lists, reminders, curiosities, etc? Keeping a journal, staying focused on your goals, checking progress, and practicing positive affirmations will transform your life.
Fashion. Elevate your wardrobe to a whole other level by sitting down and figuring out what your style actually is. Play around in your journal by creating a collage of your favorite colors, textures, patterns, styles, outfit combos, and accessories. Mix and match and figure out what your aesthetic is. Refine, polish, and thrift what doesn’t click. When you reorganize your wardrobe, you can easily mix and match anything because your wardrobe is already planned out. Bonus tip: do your laundry the same day every week (like Monday for example) and do a wardrobe prep on Sundays for the upcoming week so that at any moment you can be ready in five minutes looking perfectly polished. This avoids the whole ordeal of being stressed, rushed, and not knowing what to wear.
Skincare and hair care. Golden advice: invest in natural products, oils, and ingredients instead of investing in brands. Why? Because otherwise you’re paying for a concept instead of actual health benefits for your body. Try natural soaps, oils like shea butter, coconut oil, argan, avocado, jojoba, or rosehip, and water extracts like rosewater or hazelwater for toner. Coconut oil and argan oil is particularly famed for hair growth and shine. Castor oil as well helps hair growth, including for brows or lashes. Rosehip and shea heal discolorations, scars, and marks. Do your research, try out what fits you, and your skin will thank you later. Bonus tip: if you don’t use sunscreen already, try to incorporate it into your routine. Just make sure it has gentle, non-harmful ingredients for both yourself and the environment.
Etiquette, manners, poise, and posture. Watch videos, read books, or listen to audio books about confidence, proper etiquette, leadership skills, how to make people listen when you speak, etc. There are things which are so intuitive, obvious, and logical, and yet simply becoming aware of them and having the science of it explained will transform your perspective and the way you carry yourself.
Finances. Perform a monthly financial review to make sure you know where you are and what your budget is. Make a plan for backup funds, savings for travels, new tattoos, a house, or whatever you want. It doesn’t have to be complicated, you can keep things simple by listing your expenses in five categories like necessities, groceries, luxury, savings, and remaining funds. Keep track of your expenses or habits. There are even apps that show statistics or analysis for easy use. The point here is to stay on top of your own finances: know how much the monthly necessities are, know what has been payed, and keeping receipts.
Integrity. This means knowing yourself, having standards, knowing what your boundaries are, what you are willing, and not willing to do. When you know yourself and know your worth you won’t ever tolerate or accept anything less. Know what your principles, values, and beliefs are and hold them firmly because it is what you stand for. At the same time, it is important to keep an open mind to growth and improvement, but not so much that any persuasive argument will change your mind. Hold your own, but be gracious to other perspectives. And through it all, remember only you know what’s right for you and what’s best for you. Literally nobody else but you can know what’s in your best interest!
Efficiency & Improvement. This ties in with growth mindset but in a more practical way; make sure that you’re always leaving open space for improvement in your life and don’t ever just settle down, get stuck, or let yourself sink into complacency. Know that you can always change anything! Make a habit of frequently reviewing aspects of your life to see whether there’s anything you can make easier or more efficient. Instead of spending hours grocery shopping, check out shops online where your favorite products can be home delivered in a snap. Instead of driving to a vet for your pet, have a call in visit. Setting up recurring payments for finances also counts. Literally any process or activity whereby you can automatize a service, delivery, payment, etc. will help you in the long run, so you can focus more on enjoying life, instead of wasting time with trivial adult activities.
In the spiritual community, we have all come across the philosophical concept behind the Law of Attraction; whether we have used it or not. The majority of us have, I have to say for one thing or another. Most of the time, we use the Law of Attraction to help us find a solution to problem or current situation. This is where the problem lies when it comes to manifestation. We often use the Law of Attraction in times of desperation, like lack of money, loss of a partner, or job. When it comes to using the Law of Attraction, you have to remember that the universe acts like a mirror; so whatever perception you have of a particular situation, you will receive it whether it is positive or negative in nature.
You often find that many people who use this concept ask for abundance or their soulmate without doing the prerequisites beforehand. This means on a soul and energetic level, you must clear away any negative beliefs and deep rooted fears that reside in your subconscious mind. Negative thoughts and beliefs can creep up into our conscious mind at any point, and they can be about anything that has happened to us. Most of the time, they are negative memories that have been stored into our brain over a period of time. This is known as our inner critic – the root of fear, low self-confidence, and self-sabotage.
Our ego and wounded child use this tactic to keep us in our comfort zone and safe place. However, it doesn’t serve us when it comes to attracting positive things to our lives. Having fear when you are manifesting is like starving a flame from having oxygen – it just doesn’t work. You need to feed your subconscious mind with positive thoughts before you begin to start manifesting things into your life. However, this can take a while, especially if you have had a difficult past, and sometimes it may require the assistance of a professional.
Here are the four main reasons why the Law of Attraction hasn’t worked for you:
1. Using the Law of Attraction out of desperation. As I have just mentioned before, the universe works like a mirror, so when you try to manifest something out of pure desperation; what you desire will become further and further away. This is because the feeling of desperation comes from the essence of fear and control. When we become desperate; we are afraid of losing someone or something out of fear, so we try chase the energetic flow, only to eventually find out that its not going to come into fruition. It is a bit like trying to chase an optical illusion; like a rainbow for instance. It just doesn’t work at all on an energetic level.
Law of Attraction Hack #1: Instead of chasing and being desperate for positive changes, you must remember that you must surrender to the flow of life. When you let go of control and fear, you will become much more lighter and happier, which in the long term will help you attract the things that you truly desire in your life. It’s like what the old saying always says: “Things come into your life when you least expect them”. So surrender to the flow of life and you will begin to see more abundance happening around you.
2. Expecting what you desire to come to you on a plate without physically pursuing it in the real world. This is like asking the universe to give someone their dream job or romantic partner and expecting it to be on their doorstep. In the real world, it just doesn’t work like that unfortunately. You have to do the dirty work first, so that you can receive what you desire. This is particularly the case when it comes to finding the ideal partner. We would rather daydream about them instead of physically going through the dating process because deep down, we find it too overwhelming and stressful.
Law of Attraction Hack #2: Get out there! Let yourself be seen and heard! Do not be afraid or fearful about what you are doing! See it as a positive step forward to where you want to be in your life and within yourself. Whether that is finding a new home, job, or relationship. Whatever it maybe, make yourself known!
3. Being far too specific and unrealistic about what you want from the universe. In some ways, I do think having expectations to some degree or another is a good thing. However, when it comes to manifesting, we can get carried away with the little details instead of focusing on the most important parts. This is very common especially when you want to ask the universe for a lover or a dream home. Remember that perfection doesn’t exist. See the beauty in the imperfections and let go of unrealistic high expectations you may have of yourself and the universe around you. Nothing in this world is perfect.
Law of Attraction Hack #3: Write down your top five most important qualities, policies, values or traits you desire in a person or in a company you wish to work for. You can even use this method to help you manifest your dream family home too. By doing it this way, you don’t overthink and stress over what you desire – you just let go and allow yourself to trust the universe. Simplicity is always the best method when it comes to using the Law of Attraction.
4. Having negative thoughts or self-doubt when manifesting. Much like desperation, having negative thoughts and beliefs when you want to attract something into your life will instantly prevent you from receiving it from the universe. Negative energy and self-doubt do not serve you any purpose – all it leads to is anxiety, stress, and depression. When you tell the universe that you subconsciously do not believe you deserve what you desire you are basically telling it not to manifest it in the real world. Let go of your ego and have faith and trust in the universe. You deserve to have what you want in your life. You deserve to have what will make you happy.
Law of Attraction Hack #4: This is most probably the most challenging hacks on this list so far, as this requires continuous effort to undo the negative beliefs and thoughts that have been ingrained into us when we were children. Healing from these dysfunctional thought patterns can take time and sometimes requires a professional. Try meditating and different healing exercises. When it comes to healing from negative beliefs and past traumas, you want to heal your inner child. This is the center of your insecurities, fear, and doubt. Once you heal from your past, you will begin to attract the things that vibrate on the same level as you.
Especially with everything going on in the world right now, things can feel very mundane and a bit repetitive. Routines and repetition are great but everybody needs some of change sometimes. Lets get into some ways to freshen things up in your boring old life:
Change your routine. This is probably the simplest way to bring a new, fresh feeling into your day to day. You can add completely new activities or you can just change the order of things. Either way it will feel new and maybe even exciting depending on what you add!
Talk to someone new. Find a new friend! There’s so many ways to meet people on the internet nowadays.
Try something you’ve never done. You can cook a new recipe or try playing an instrument. If you fall in love with it or not doesn’t really matter. What’s important is to try it to figure out what your next step will be.
Learn a new skill. Learning new skill takes time and patience but it will add a long lasting satisfaction to your life and it can really switch up your entire lifestyle.
Try new decor. Bring a new plant into your home or try moving things around in your home to make it look different. Simply move things around until you like it and your space will have new energy.
Change of scenery. Switch up your usual places for certain tasks and activities. Change the place where you read, where you work, or where you work out.
Quit a bad habit. This one is neither simple nor quick, but I had to mention it since it’s one of the best ways to feel like a whole new and better person. Choose a habit that makes you feel bad and do your best to replace it with a good habit.
Change the time you wake up. This is a small change but waking up earlier/later can give you both more time and energy! Figuring out how much sleep you need and when is the best time to wake up for you can significantly improve your life.
Switch up your style. Combine the clothes you have in a new way, change up your hair, and get a crazy pedicure!
Change the way you work out. If you don’t have a way you move your body almost every day, find something you will truly enjoy. And if you do work out, try something new! You can do pilates, jogging, or weight lifting. Dancing and walking are both fun ways too! No matter what you’re doing now, go and try something else. You might even like it more!
The fear of intimacy is a very common fear to have, especially when we’re dating someone or looking for love for the first time after experiencing a break-up. You’ll often find people that have a subconscious fear of intimacy are in love with the romanticism behind the process of falling in love. I like to call this the ‘being in love with love syndrome’.
These people are in love with the ideology of feeling connected to someone on every level, but on the flip side, they are also afraid of showing their true selves because it brings up too much pain. Another trait that these people have is that they have a tendency to search for their soulmate or twin flame, but then once they have found what they’ve been looking for, they runaway from the connection, leaving the other person in the dark.
People who have a fear of intimacy also have a fear of being vulnerable, because they believe that is a sign of weakness. Infidelity and being addicted to dating and relationship hopping is very common with people who have a fear of intimacy.They can also become codependent, needy, possessive, jealous and desperate with the people they get romantically involved with. This can also happen with people who have a fear of abandonment, betrayal and rejection, which are usually linked with fear of intimacy as well. These fears are developed in our childhood, often when our parents fail to give us love, affection, a sense of emotional security and support when we needed it the most.
To overcome this destructive dynamic, you must inward and dive into your past, no matter how traumatic and painful it is for you. Your past has the answers to why you’re suffering now in the present moment. Healing your inner child is the only way you can overcome the fear of intimacy and any other fears you maybe holding on to.
Your inner child and your shadow self are the roots of all fear, anger, shame and guilt. On the positive side, your inner child is the home of joy, playfulness, creativity, curiosity, freedom, adventure, imagination and spontaneity. To access your inner child, you can do guided meditations and self-hypnosis sessions, as well as writing a letter to your adult self from your child self.
This simple exercise can be done by writing the letter in your left hand (or right hand), the hand which you don’t write with, as this engages your subconscious mind. Your dominant hand, will be your adult self, as you are right now in the present moment. It’s very important not to judge yourself or consciously think about what you are going to write, because when you do you’re coming from a place of resistance. The idea behind this exercise is to come from a place of compassion, acceptance, understanding and fluidity.
By doing this on a regular basis, you’ll start to gain insight and discover the root causes behind your fears and phobias that are attached to intimacy, relationships, sexuality and dating. It’s important to remember to not to give up hope, especially when you’re trying to overcome your fears about intimacy. Always have faith in yourself and believe in your own personal power, as this will improve your self confidence and self-worth in all aspects of your life, not just your love life.
The fear of intimacy is easy to overcome, once you know how. Don’t let the fear of intimacy stop you from experiencing the love you’ve always desired, you deserve better than that. You are worthy of being loved. Thank you for reading!
Many blogs talk about self-care routines, but these routines aren’t just one size fits all. So, how do you make one that suits your needs? Let me give you some pointers on creating personalized self-care routines:
Divide your self care into 3 categories: Body, mind and soul. This is very vague, I know, but hold on I’ll explain.
Under the “body” category falls all the physical self care. It can be all those pleasures like that extra scoop of ice cream, or it can be taking care of your body even though it might not always be pleasant. Working out, yoga, and skin care are usually the basics. Sleep also falls under this category.
The “mind” category requires knowledge and entertainment. This type of self care includes investing time and/or money into courses, books, and other type of knowledge. Obviously it doesn’t have to involve money, you can learn things on the internet or explore what you already have.
The “soul” category is your mental health and well-being. It’s the category that involves taking a day off, watching a pleasant movie, meditating, or making art.
Think about each category and ask yourself what you need. You might be in a desperate need of more sleep for your body or you can be bored out of your mind, so you better go and learn something new. Your soul may also be starving or hurting, so don’t forget to pay attention to this part of you.
How much self-care do you need? Ask yourself how much of each thing you need. For some people self care can be working out every day and for others it can be watching a movie once a week.
Schedule it in. I mean it. Write it down into your calendar. It may seem silly or unnecessary but trust me, caring for you is one of the most important things you can do. Keeping yourself healthy and happy should always be your priority.
Now, go ahead and make your own personalized self-care routine! Thank you for reading.
Ego says, “If I manifest a new house, a relationship of my dreams, my dream career, more money, and everything I desire, then I’ll finally be happy.” Spirit says, “I am happy now, and that’s why all the things I desire will come to me naturally as a result of my internal state.”
This the reason why so many people can’t manifest or have difficulties with understanding the law of attraction. You can’t look for happiness outside yourself. You can’t wait for a material thing, a person, or perfect circumstances to make you happy. Happiness is an internal state, you can choose to be happy no matter what. You can consciously choose to change your frequency. When you change your vibrational frequency, everything in your life aligns with this new frequency. Real change always comes from within.
You can’t manifest anything in a state of lack. You have to feel full and content within to create anything new without. The Universe always gives you more of what you are focusing on. If you feel like only the external things can make you happy, you’ll always be chasing happiness, you’ll never achieve fulfillment. That’s why you should practice gratitude every single day. It will help you achieve a state of abundance; you will realize how much you already have. Learn how to appreciate every little thing, and your life will be truly magical and full of happiness.
Many of us from a young age are taught not to show our feelings to others by our parents, to help protect ourselves during times of distress in our lives. Society believes that if we show any sign of weakness to anyone, it will only go against us and not benefit in any way. This is somewhat true in context, but this belief does have huge setbacks that come with it. Sometimes in life, there are some circumstances when you have to let go of trying to be a warrior and surrender to your deep inner emotions rather than fighting against them. Telling someone that you feel hurt or allowing yourself to cry in front of someone you love, is never a sign of weakness. By being open to expressing your emotions with someone whether that is a relative, friend, partner or stranger, you begin to develop trust within yourself and with those around you, which takes courage, self awareness and strength. Showing weakness doesn’t mean your weak, it actually shows strength and self acceptance during turbulent times.
Emotional vulnerability is extremely important in all parts of life, especially in close romantic relationships. Couples who never tell each other how they feel in the relationship, usually have a lot of conflict which often leads to the failing of the partnership and ending it on a sour note. However, emotional vulnerability in relationships should always be equal between two people, otherwise it will put one of the partners at risk for emotional manipulation and psychological abuse, which is never okay. If you’re in a relationship like that, please seek out professional help from a counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist. When both partners are emotionally compatible, this can increase the levels of intimacy, safety and bonding due to the hormone oxytocin, which is released by the hypothalamus in the brain. If you asked people “What does intimacy mean to you?”, they’d respond with the ideology of sex and red hot passion with somebody.
Some of that is true to some extent, but real intimacy with someone is feeling connected to them on all levels of love, not purely sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is needed for procreation, as it is our primal desire to reproduce and without it humanity wouldn’t survive as a species, so it is completely necessary to desire someone sexually. Sometimes, intimacy can frighten a lot of people, particularly men (and some women), because it breaks down the walls around them allowing the other person see them in their raw state, which can be extremely challenging and difficult to do. Think about it this way, whenever you look at someone in the eye it can either feel extremely awkward, weird or even romantic in some cases. Eye gazing, in fact, has shown to be one of the key secrets to finding true love, and many people who have done it have fell in love with their partner almost instantly. People find looking in to someone’s eyes so powerful, that they can actually see and feel all of what a person’s been through in their life whether they are triumphs or tragedies, which can be very overwhelming.
Most people don’t want to show their true selves to others because society made us believe that we should conform just like everyone else. This is wrong and its the reason why there are so many conflicts happening across the world today. People should never be afraid to cry, ask for help, look at someone in the eyes or fear of being seen suffering or in pain. This world needs love not violence so that we can come together and make it a better place. Take this advice on board, and watch your love life, friendships and family relationships advance like never before.
Sometimes we forget who we are, what our purpose is in life, and why we are even bother doing the things we do. These thoughts can steer us off track from our path of life. These thoughts are natural, though negative. And you better believe that even the most successful person you know experiences days where they are feeling lost in life. Here are some things you can do to help you get back into your element.
1. Involve yourself in your found family, babysit your niece, call you mom, visit your grandma, throw a dinner party and invite your friends, offer to go grocery shopping for someone whose super busy.
2. Give people little gifts when you can, make people playlists, wrap up books you think they’d like, pack them a lunch or a snack box, give someone flowers, pay for a strangers coffee, smile at people.
3. Speak your mind, stand up for yourself, stand up for whats right, and stand up for others. Speak you heart, don’t be a silent lover, tell people how you feel. Dont let problems build up forever, tell people when your hurting, let people know you need help.
4 Work towards a goal and be aware of your progress, learn to value reconsideration and editing, commit time and energy whenever you can. Become the person you want to be.
5. Stop identifying as your aspiration, there is no goal you can reach that will make you suddenly love yourself. You are a whole person in the present moment.
6. Don’t keep secrets. Keep things private if you need to, but trust those you know you can trust. If your body becomes a locked safe, there won’t be room for a person.
7. Find art you love, paintings, films, books, even knitting patterns. These are how people say things that they can’t put words to, you will learn things about the world that you can’t put words to either.
8. Make. make anything, scribble on sticky notes. Write your future self a letter. Make a bowl out of clay. Cook yourself dinner. Put creative energy into the world.
9. Use your body more. Remind yourself that their is a self other than the one in your head. Exercise, clean you house, feel sunlight, dance, sing.
10. Spend time naked until the way you look seems normal. Stop thinking of your natural state as abnormal.
Ahhh… letting go. This is one of the hardest things to do in life, especially when you have to let go of someone you truly loved and was very special to you, after they have broke up with you and possibly found someone else. I know how this feels and I have the deepest empathy for people who are currently going through this tough time in their lives. It hurts you to the core and makes you cry like a baby for weeks, it’s awful, I know. However, you need to know that everything needs to come to an end, and this is not a bad thing as it opens you up to new paths and potential relationships to blossom, that may be more compatible and healthier to you.
By allowing yourself to let go, you are releasing what doesn’t serve you anymore and making space in your heart for something new. Going through a heartbreak, isn’t a bad thing because it teaches you lessons about romantic relationships, what you desire in a partner and what you don’t want either as well as your own good attributes and finding peace in your imperfections. Death teaches us that we should not be afraid of letting go, as its a natural process in the cycle of life. We need death in this world because it gives us a chance to be born again. Without going through the process of breaking down, there is no chance of renewal.
Each day when the sun rises from the horizon, it offers you a chance to bring in new changes in to your life and start your day on a calm, happy note free from worry and pain from the past. Be grateful for being able to wake up to a new day that is full of opportunity, joy and happiness, as its one of life’s blessings. Sunsets also offer us to surrender and let go of what has happened during the day, whether it was good or bad, accepting it and giving us an invitation to move forward. If you are resistant to accepting the flow of life, it will prevent you from growing into the greatest version of yourself and it will make your life miserable unnecessarily.
Being fearful of change is probably more common in society than you realise. This unhealthy pattern of thought is the reason why people live a life that is unsatisfactory, unhelpful and mediocre, which stops them from pushing themselves to do something different that could change their life for good and for the better. Fear prevents us from doing something different or making a risk, because the human psyche likes comfort and repetition as it makes us feel safe and secure in our surroundings. When we have the opportunity to do something new that is out of our comfort zone, we start worrying if we’ve made the the right decision or not and eventually we give into the fear rather than embracing it.
Here is an exercise that you can do that will help you let go of the past and open you up to experiencing a brighter future.
Things you’ll need:
A pen A piece of paper A shredder or a lighter
Write down on a piece of paper of all the things that are upsetting you currently in your life. This can also be things that have happened recently or in the past. These can be feelings, memories or thoughts, it doesn’t matter. Write them down when they come in to your mind as you do this exercise.
Once you have finished writing down all of the things, take a look at what you have written for a moment and then either burn or shred the paper (your choice) and watch it disappear taking your feelings of sadness, trauma, regret, shame, grief and guilt with it.
Repeat this exercise regularly until you feel ready to move into the next stage of your life.
You can let go and it is possible. Make these changes today, so that you can manifest your dreams into a reality and create a life you deserve.
Communication – the strong foundation every fulfilling relationship is built on.
Honesty – being honest with our partners is the most simple way to remove unnecessary drama from our relationships.
Authenticity – being our true selves is the surest way to create lasting fulfillment in every area of our lives.
Love – without love the relationship will not fulfill us and soon we will come to resent our partners.
Harmony – when our thoughts, beliefs and actions are in harmony with our partners’ this is a clear sign that the relationship is fulfilling.
Respect – without mutual respect with our partners we can expect to find ourselves in dysfunctional relationships.
Empathy – it’s important to be aware of our partner’s feelings before we act if we have the intention of having a fulfilling relationship.
Compassion – forms the bedrock for a depth of understanding that leads to fulfilling relationships.
Gratitude – when we are grateful for the time we are fortunate enough to spend with our partners we enrich our relationships with positivity and appreciation.
Vision – a short-term mindset doesn’t create long-term fulfillment, we must be aware of what kind of where our relationships are headed and have the long-term vision in mind when choosing our partners.
Space – we need to check in with ourselves at regular intervals to ensure that the relationship is fulfilling our needs.
Spirituality – having a spiritual perspective on challenges that come up in relationships allows us to work through them with the mindset of growth rather than egoic delusion.
Self-love – if we don’t love ourselves we will be seeking this love from others and this creates unhealthy attachments to our partners and this leads to dysfunctional situations.
Fun – what’s the point in doing anything if it’s not fun?
True love starts with loving yourself. Thank you so much for reading.