Reminders For You And I

Sometimes our mind can get stuck in the worst possible case scenario. We need to mind ourselves to not hold onto every single thought that passes through our mind. And though it is normal to have periods where you’re feeling off, it’s also important to care for our mental. Read these reminders carefully and pick out a few you can use in your daily life.

1. Assume the best case scenario. Give the people who matter to you the benefit of the doubt. Unless they’re given you reason not to.

2. Forgive with ease. When you hold a grudge towards something benign, it does so much more damage to you than she whom you are angry. Pick you battles and forgive quickly. 

3. Play out the worst case scenario. It’s probably not that bad. Don’t overestimate the risks involved in a decision, and don’t let the idea of failure paralyze you. What is the worst thing that could happen if you asked someone out, asked someone for a reference letter? Rejection is a small price to pay.

4. Fluctuations in the moods and dispositions of others are not necessarily a reflection of your actions. Overthinking the nuances and tones of every interaction with someone you care about (or don’t) is one of those practices that hurts you. 

5. Give people space, and give yourself space. Overexposing yourself to someone you love can actually be counterproductive. Give people time to miss you. Absence often illuminates us to the things we value about others but have been taking for granted. 

6. Ask for what you want, and do so shamelessly. Again, what is the worst thing that can happen? Rejection. That’s it. You cannot ever have what you want unless you ask. The odds of stumbling into your dreams is close to zero.

7. Do not complain about dimensions of your life that you have control over. See your role in negative situations. We all have agency, no matter how constrained. We learn, we change, or we stagnate. Have enough self awareness to patiently  ride things out and hit a turning point, or modify whatever is contributing to the unpleasant circumstances. 

8. Playing the victim and having an alibi is much more attractive than taking responsibility for your life. Let go of victim identities and focus on what you can do and what you have control over. Even if you feel like a victim, this state does not hold solutions. It holds pity and that’s it. There is nothing desirable about exploiting pity as a long term solution. Stop clinging to excuses. 

9. Pluralize your sources of happiness. People leave, you can get injured, you can fail, obligations may arise. These obstacles will crush you if you only have a couple sources of happiness. Pursue as many things as possible that will make you feel competent and whole.