Before I created my own bucket list, I kept looking up bucket lists of others for reference. Soon I realised it’s not exactly the best method because I was prone to just copying things people “should” do in their life. Today I wanted to share some tips on how to build a bucket list that truly reflects what you want:
Before you start, really listen to your heart. Basically the only rule to this is making a list of things to what YOU really want to do. My bucket list doesn’t have bunjee jumping or skydiving because it’s not something I want to do, even though they are typical bucket list things.
Start with the things you already know. All of us can name at least three things we would like to do at least once in our lives. It can also be a place you want to visit or things you want to get. As an example for me it’s always been getting a dog. This will get you excited and might even bring to life more ideas.
Go as big as you want. No matter how impossible the dream may seem, you never know where your life might get you. Write down things you doubt you’ll ever be able to do, because you may surprise yourself later. Don’t give up before you even started.
Even the smallest and easiest things count. No goal or a wish is too small for your bucket list. As long as you really want to do it, go ahead and write it down.
Add in life milestones or goals you want to hit. Keep in mind this is not a plan on how to get there, only visual list of things you want. You can write down that you want a house or which school you want to graduate.
Add people you want to meet. Who would you love to meet and talk to? Maybe even possibly be friends with?
It doesn’t all have to be pleasant. Not all experiences might be pleasant and sometimes you may want to try things that scare you. Break through’s can be on your bucket list too.
Keep updating. Feel free to come back and add things, and at the same time don’t feel bad crossing things out. You don’t need to keep things that don’t feel authentic to you. It’s completely okay to grow out of a dream or goal, just make sure it’s not fear getting in the way!
Keep the completed ones there so you can see how far you have come. They’ll motivate you to complete more! Plus, it’s good to write down the date of their completion.
1. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Feel your lungs expand as you inhale and deflate as you exhale. Notice how your body changes as life flow in and out of your spirit. Allow it to bring you deeper into your body. Just breathe!
2. Look out your window and smile! Take a moment to appreciate the beauty of the earth. Let in some air, hear the birds, feel the chill of the wind, talk to the trees. Thank Her for all she provides you with.
3. Move with no judgment or worry. Just feel your body, no matter how broken, tired, or aching it is. It is a safe and sacred place. Touch, feel, soothe, and move through every corner of your body. It is not the enemy!
4.Reconnect with the divine. Meditate, pray, visualize, journey deep into the realm of ritual. Transform this silent time into an altar for the divine. Find magic in the mundane, allow your imagination to guide you.
5.Choose yourself! Choose to feel your emotions, honor your needs, and entertain your desires. Sink into your needs and wants at this moment. What is your mind, body, and soul craving? Choose to honor yourself in every moment.
I hope that you all will find the peace you need! Seek it with all your heart and it will greet you with open arms. Thank you for reading.
School is back in session and procrastination is on its way to all of our front doors. So, here are some tips to get past this semester and ace every class. Let’s set some high goals for ourselves. We are capable of anything and everything we set our minds to. With some effort, literally anything is possible. So, here goes the tips:
Realize that whatever you’re avoiding isn’t as bad as your mind makes it to be. Things are ALWAYS easier once you start doing them.
Plan to do a small and not too intimidating portion of the task.-Let’s say you have to read a book for an assignment. Then tell yourself to read 10 pages. Just 10. Later it will turn out to be easier to continue past that but now we need to trick your brain.
Count to 3 and GO! This is one of the smallest things that changed my life. When I really don’t want to do something I just count to three and do it. 3 seconds don’t give you time to doubt yourself and be afraid.
Change your surroundings accordingly. Try to get rid off as many distractions as you can and at the same time make sure your surrounding isn’t unbelievably boring and depressing. Try playing music without lyrics and try to make your study place aesthetically pleasing.
Get your phone away. Either delete your social media apps, turn off your phone, or at least put it out of your reach, or maybe even a different room.
Ask someone to check up on you. If you can, ask someone to come and kick you in the butt if they catch you procrastinating.
Take breaks that can’t turn into procrastination again. Go for a walk, clean something, or just lie down on the floor but no phone and no scrolling! Nothing addictive or time wasting/consuming.
Be kinder to yourself. Beating yourself up over procrastinating and calling yourself bad things will only make you feel shittier and less productive. Be gentle with yourself. Ask yourself to do things nicely.
Sometimes it is okay not to be productive. Blogs like mine can make you think that working all the time is the goal. But it’s not true at all. Sometimes procrastination can be a side effect of exhaustion or a mental illness even. Get some rest if you need it.
I don’t know about you but I certainly feel like I haven’t moved forward in life for months! Quarantine has us tied to our beds, seeing the world through windows or screens. Besides for the feeling stuck because of quarantine, we may feel stuck in our current situations. So, here are some small things you can do to feel less stuck where you are:
Go on a fitness journey. Start eating better,, start exercising or try new ways to move your body. Consistency and progress will make you feel better and more productive.
Change your daily routine. It could be just waking up earlier or switching things up in your routine. Breaking the repetitive pattern will help freshen things up.
Pick up a new hobby. Try something completely new or learn a new skill! Again, seeing progress even in smaller parts of life will be so beneficial to you.
Make things with your hands. Cook, make art, and build things. Leaving physical results that you can see behind is progress.
Spend more time with friends. Whether it’s to share new information, practice new skills, or just to get a good laugh.
Take care of something or someone. Take care of your pet, plants, or just help out local nature! Seeing something grow or learn to trust is an amazing feeling.
Have you ever been in a romantic relationship or friendship with someone who told you that you were too clingy or needy? We have all been there to one degree or another. In my opinion, I do not like the terms ‘needy and ‘clingy’ as being called this by another person who is significant in our lives – is very shameful and demoralizing. Being called this does not offer any help to the person who is strongly attached to someone on an emotional level. In actual fact, being labelled as needy has detrimental effects on our self esteem and it can lead to people feeling depressed, and in worse cases self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
So we need to come from a place of compassion, empathy and understanding, before we point the finger, blame and shame a person for their behavior. Usually people who are classified as ‘needy’ by others in society, have experienced some kind of emotional trauma when they were growing up as a child. This can be anything from having an alcoholic parent, being brought up in a household that didn’t have any emotional support (emotionally unavailable parents), loss of close relatives to illness at a young age, social isolation and shunning by peers at school and bullying. Emotional neglect and the lack of connection, safety and comfort when we were children, is possibly one of the biggest causes of needy behavior.
When we are children, we are heavily dependent on our parents to keep us safe, supported, loved and cared for. When these needs are not met by our parents, this is when dependency issues come in. Once we become adults, we subconsciously search for those who can provide us those needs that we didn’t get as children. In some cases, people can often be attracted to those who will continuously expose the same wound time and time again. It is very common for codependent people to be attracted and fall for narcissistic individuals who will emotionally abuse and abandon them consistently. This vicious cycle can last for many years, if not decades and it can destroy your emotional well-being completely.
People who have been through this, usually are desperate to feel validated, accepted and secure by others – it’s like there is empty part of themselves that needs to be filled so they feel complete and happy. It is very common for people with strong attachment styles to have an extreme fear of being alone, dumped and abandoned. This is because it opens up the same emotional wound of feeling unloved and unwanted, which can be extremely distressing for some people. So when they meet someone who makes them feel like they are literally walking on cloud nine, they automatically get hooked on to them because they believe that they can have the power to fill the emptiness inside themselves and complete them.
This destructive behavior pattern can tear relationships apart, due to the amount of pressure that they put on to the other person. The fear of abandonment can lead to extreme bouts of anxiety, jealousy, and dread. These people can sometimes go to the extremes of looking down their partner’s phone and inbox to make sure that they aren’t texting anyone else to replace them in the future. This sort of behavior, if it’s caught red handed can lead to extreme conflict, emotional pain and eventually a break-up of the friendship or romantic relationship.
The best way to overcome needy behavior, is to connect to your inner child through journaling or meditation techniques. Thank you for reading.
Here’s a list of all the tips, hacks, and advice that stuck with me from reading so many articles, videos and research. Feel free to ask me any questions, or add tips of your own.
Hydration. Make sure you stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water, green tea, and black tea everyday. I know you see this everywhere but it’s true. Just drinking water will do wonders for your skin and your overall health.
Nutrition. Maintain a healthy diet by letting go your toxic, restrictive beliefs on diet and realizing that food is sacred fuel for your body. So, offer your body the best and at lots of vegetables, fruits, nuts, and seeds. Essentially lots of wholefoods.
Incorporate smoothies into your mornings for extra dose of vitamins. Practice mindful, conscious eating, be there in the moment when you are eating, taste the food, and enjoy the experience of it. Meditate over your relationship with food and try to work through any unhealthy beliefs.
Exercise. Pick one or multiple forms of exercise that suits your schedule, lifestyle, and personality. Whether it’s jogging twice a week, going to the gym daily, or even just a fresh walk every evening. Pick what is suitable for YOU and keep it part of your life. Create your own gym routine, hire a trainer, train at home, or in the gym. Whatever works best for you.
Growth Mindset. Maintain a positive mindset that is always open and curious to learning new things, trying new skills, and ever willing to improve itself. Redirect your attention from drama, gossip, and toxic comparison beliefs to healthy ones. Unfollow accounts online or delete all your social media if that’s what you need to do.
Recreate yourself if that’s what you want. Focus on YOUR growth! Make a habit of reading new books, watching TedTalks, documentaries, etc. Look at educating yourself as a way to invest in yourself and a way to honor yourself. Maintain curiosity in your heart for the ways of the universe.
Stay humble and graceful in the face of adversity, but never give up on your dreams, failed attempts are only lessons for improvement, and the only true failure is giving up. As long as you keep going you’re still winning. Bonus tip: comparison is self harm, and a denial of your own power, so remember that nobody can be you and that’s a good thing. You can only be you, so make it count and honor yourself!
Relationships. Don’t cling to relationships and don’t be afraid to lose people. Be your authentic self at all times and do not be afraid to intimidate people or be too much! Those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter. Know that the friends and partners that are meant for you will stay, or will find their way back to you. Be mindful of the dynamic in a relationship, and be self-loving enough to walk away from what is toxic, unhealthy, restrictive, disrespectful, etc. Forgive those that wronged you, but tolerate no mistreatment. You can forgive them from afar, but make sure they’re no longer a part of your life.
Focus & Goals. Keep a journal and as frequently as you can, write down bullet lists of to do lists, goals, dreams, daily reflections, aspects of yourself to improve upon, positive affirmations, wish-list etc. In other words, brainstorm all the things whirling around in your head regarding your own life. Remember all those things you’ve wanted to do? Bucket-lists, reminders, curiosities, etc? Keeping a journal, staying focused on your goals, checking progress, and practicing positive affirmations will transform your life.
Fashion. Elevate your wardrobe to a whole other level by sitting down and figuring out what your style actually is. Play around in your journal by creating a collage of your favorite colors, textures, patterns, styles, outfit combos, and accessories. Mix and match and figure out what your aesthetic is. Refine, polish, and thrift what doesn’t click. When you reorganize your wardrobe, you can easily mix and match anything because your wardrobe is already planned out. Bonus tip: do your laundry the same day every week (like Monday for example) and do a wardrobe prep on Sundays for the upcoming week so that at any moment you can be ready in five minutes looking perfectly polished. This avoids the whole ordeal of being stressed, rushed, and not knowing what to wear.
Skincare and hair care. Golden advice: invest in natural products, oils, and ingredients instead of investing in brands. Why? Because otherwise you’re paying for a concept instead of actual health benefits for your body. Try natural soaps, oils like shea butter, coconut oil, argan, avocado, jojoba, or rosehip, and water extracts like rosewater or hazelwater for toner. Coconut oil and argan oil is particularly famed for hair growth and shine. Castor oil as well helps hair growth, including for brows or lashes. Rosehip and shea heal discolorations, scars, and marks. Do your research, try out what fits you, and your skin will thank you later. Bonus tip: if you don’t use sunscreen already, try to incorporate it into your routine. Just make sure it has gentle, non-harmful ingredients for both yourself and the environment.
Etiquette, manners, poise, and posture. Watch videos, read books, or listen to audio books about confidence, proper etiquette, leadership skills, how to make people listen when you speak, etc. There are things which are so intuitive, obvious, and logical, and yet simply becoming aware of them and having the science of it explained will transform your perspective and the way you carry yourself.
Finances. Perform a monthly financial review to make sure you know where you are and what your budget is. Make a plan for backup funds, savings for travels, new tattoos, a house, or whatever you want. It doesn’t have to be complicated, you can keep things simple by listing your expenses in five categories like necessities, groceries, luxury, savings, and remaining funds. Keep track of your expenses or habits. There are even apps that show statistics or analysis for easy use. The point here is to stay on top of your own finances: know how much the monthly necessities are, know what has been payed, and keeping receipts.
Integrity. This means knowing yourself, having standards, knowing what your boundaries are, what you are willing, and not willing to do. When you know yourself and know your worth you won’t ever tolerate or accept anything less. Know what your principles, values, and beliefs are and hold them firmly because it is what you stand for. At the same time, it is important to keep an open mind to growth and improvement, but not so much that any persuasive argument will change your mind. Hold your own, but be gracious to other perspectives. And through it all, remember only you know what’s right for you and what’s best for you. Literally nobody else but you can know what’s in your best interest!
Efficiency & Improvement. This ties in with growth mindset but in a more practical way; make sure that you’re always leaving open space for improvement in your life and don’t ever just settle down, get stuck, or let yourself sink into complacency. Know that you can always change anything! Make a habit of frequently reviewing aspects of your life to see whether there’s anything you can make easier or more efficient. Instead of spending hours grocery shopping, check out shops online where your favorite products can be home delivered in a snap. Instead of driving to a vet for your pet, have a call in visit. Setting up recurring payments for finances also counts. Literally any process or activity whereby you can automatize a service, delivery, payment, etc. will help you in the long run, so you can focus more on enjoying life, instead of wasting time with trivial adult activities.
Being kind is so important. I didn’t always think so, I used to think it’s better to be mean, tough, and heartless. But this type of behavior gets you absolutely nowhere in life. There’s so much more strength in kindness.
I’ve learned that it was hard for me to be kinder to others because I was accustomed to being kind to myself. This part took some healing, but with time I was able to treat myself kindly, and eventually I was able to treat others kindly. Here’s a few kind things you can do, if you don’t know where to start:
Properly greeting everyone and always saying thank you and please
When someone messes up, be understanding
When someone’s doing something, help them if you can, especially if they’re doing it for you
I know a lot of people who simply don’t have any hobbies. I think having hobbies is important and everyone should make time to have a bit of fun. Hobbies are great to fall back on when you’re feeling down, stresses, or just not like yourself. You can pretty much make a hobby out of anything, but it’s completely normal to be in a rut. So, here’s a few tips on how you find a new hobby:
Accept that it’ll be uncomfortable and you’ll do poorly at the beginning. Trying new things is hard because we are almost always bad at them at first. Being bad at something can be really uncomfortable, but you need to accept it and push through it. You have to focus on whether you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, not how good you are.
Look for hobbies similar to what you already like doing. Do you like singing? Try playing an instrument. Do you like dancing? Try playing a different sport. Do you like drawing? Try painting. Unless you’re starting from zero, your current hobbies can help you a lot.
Try new things with your friends. Try new things with your friends. You can try join their hobby or you can both try something entirely new. Either way, things are less scary when there’s two of you.
What are your talents? What are the things you’re good at? You could start by working on your talents. It can be something obvious like singing or your talent might point you in a vague direction. For example you might be good at making people laugh, but what hobby does that lead to? You can try improv, drama, or even stand-up!
Try as many things as you can. Of course not everything is easy to try but there are so many small things you can try doing in a day! Embroidery, art, blogging, photography, singing… there are so many you can try without buying anything or joining courses.
In the spiritual community, we have all come across the philosophical concept behind the Law of Attraction; whether we have used it or not. The majority of us have, I have to say for one thing or another. Most of the time, we use the Law of Attraction to help us find a solution to problem or current situation. This is where the problem lies when it comes to manifestation. We often use the Law of Attraction in times of desperation, like lack of money, loss of a partner, or job. When it comes to using the Law of Attraction, you have to remember that the universe acts like a mirror; so whatever perception you have of a particular situation, you will receive it whether it is positive or negative in nature.
You often find that many people who use this concept ask for abundance or their soulmate without doing the prerequisites beforehand. This means on a soul and energetic level, you must clear away any negative beliefs and deep rooted fears that reside in your subconscious mind. Negative thoughts and beliefs can creep up into our conscious mind at any point, and they can be about anything that has happened to us. Most of the time, they are negative memories that have been stored into our brain over a period of time. This is known as our inner critic – the root of fear, low self-confidence, and self-sabotage.
Our ego and wounded child use this tactic to keep us in our comfort zone and safe place. However, it doesn’t serve us when it comes to attracting positive things to our lives. Having fear when you are manifesting is like starving a flame from having oxygen – it just doesn’t work. You need to feed your subconscious mind with positive thoughts before you begin to start manifesting things into your life. However, this can take a while, especially if you have had a difficult past, and sometimes it may require the assistance of a professional.
Here are the four main reasons why the Law of Attraction hasn’t worked for you:
1. Using the Law of Attraction out of desperation. As I have just mentioned before, the universe works like a mirror, so when you try to manifest something out of pure desperation; what you desire will become further and further away. This is because the feeling of desperation comes from the essence of fear and control. When we become desperate; we are afraid of losing someone or something out of fear, so we try chase the energetic flow, only to eventually find out that its not going to come into fruition. It is a bit like trying to chase an optical illusion; like a rainbow for instance. It just doesn’t work at all on an energetic level.
Law of Attraction Hack #1: Instead of chasing and being desperate for positive changes, you must remember that you must surrender to the flow of life. When you let go of control and fear, you will become much more lighter and happier, which in the long term will help you attract the things that you truly desire in your life. It’s like what the old saying always says: “Things come into your life when you least expect them”. So surrender to the flow of life and you will begin to see more abundance happening around you.
2. Expecting what you desire to come to you on a plate without physically pursuing it in the real world. This is like asking the universe to give someone their dream job or romantic partner and expecting it to be on their doorstep. In the real world, it just doesn’t work like that unfortunately. You have to do the dirty work first, so that you can receive what you desire. This is particularly the case when it comes to finding the ideal partner. We would rather daydream about them instead of physically going through the dating process because deep down, we find it too overwhelming and stressful.
Law of Attraction Hack #2: Get out there! Let yourself be seen and heard! Do not be afraid or fearful about what you are doing! See it as a positive step forward to where you want to be in your life and within yourself. Whether that is finding a new home, job, or relationship. Whatever it maybe, make yourself known!
3. Being far too specific and unrealistic about what you want from the universe. In some ways, I do think having expectations to some degree or another is a good thing. However, when it comes to manifesting, we can get carried away with the little details instead of focusing on the most important parts. This is very common especially when you want to ask the universe for a lover or a dream home. Remember that perfection doesn’t exist. See the beauty in the imperfections and let go of unrealistic high expectations you may have of yourself and the universe around you. Nothing in this world is perfect.
Law of Attraction Hack #3: Write down your top five most important qualities, policies, values or traits you desire in a person or in a company you wish to work for. You can even use this method to help you manifest your dream family home too. By doing it this way, you don’t overthink and stress over what you desire – you just let go and allow yourself to trust the universe. Simplicity is always the best method when it comes to using the Law of Attraction.
4. Having negative thoughts or self-doubt when manifesting. Much like desperation, having negative thoughts and beliefs when you want to attract something into your life will instantly prevent you from receiving it from the universe. Negative energy and self-doubt do not serve you any purpose – all it leads to is anxiety, stress, and depression. When you tell the universe that you subconsciously do not believe you deserve what you desire you are basically telling it not to manifest it in the real world. Let go of your ego and have faith and trust in the universe. You deserve to have what you want in your life. You deserve to have what will make you happy.
Law of Attraction Hack #4: This is most probably the most challenging hacks on this list so far, as this requires continuous effort to undo the negative beliefs and thoughts that have been ingrained into us when we were children. Healing from these dysfunctional thought patterns can take time and sometimes requires a professional. Try meditating and different healing exercises. When it comes to healing from negative beliefs and past traumas, you want to heal your inner child. This is the center of your insecurities, fear, and doubt. Once you heal from your past, you will begin to attract the things that vibrate on the same level as you.
I have always known that I tend to have an extreme approach to life where it’s either “Everything has to be done and it has to be perfect” or “I do not care about anything at all”. You may be sitting in front of your computer, shaking your head and you’re right.. it’s not healthy. So, here are some things that have helped get out of this toxic cycle.
Studies and work should not be your number one priority. Yes, you read that right. No matter how important grades are to you school should NEVER be your number one priority.
Make health your number one priority. I have told you what shouldn’t be your number one priority and now it’s time to give you a good number one! Health, physical and mental, should always be what you put first in life.
Focus on long term happiness. Thinking of your long term happiness could help you fight procrastination at the moment because short term gratification won’t matter. On the other hand you may also realize that studying isn’t what’s making you happy now and it won’t make you happy later and that’s okay too.
Self care is just as important as your work. This one is honestly the hardest for me. Self care is what will get you in working shape without burning yourself out completely.
Things don’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to do everything. It’s okay to choose not to do something or to half-ass it. Always having everything perfect while lacking in every other part of life is pretty much the opposite of balance.
Spend time with people. Don’t put school first when it comes to relationships and connections. In 5 years, those relationships and connections will still be there but school won’t.
Since the day we were born, each day that passes becomes a memory that is stored deep within our mind, body and soul. These memories can be good, bad, or even mediocre. It’s the mediocre and average memories that get discarded and forgotten about, whereas pleasant and distressing memories stay for a long time.
Feelings of regret, shame, and guilt from mistakes that have happened in the past are particularly difficult to release and heal from, as they can cause an awful amount of pain and it also requires patience too. Healing from the past is not an easy task at all, and sometimes, if not all of the time, it requires professional help.
The best way to heal from past trauma is to go within and ask yourself what feelings you have when a bad memory flashes back at you within your consciousness. Common feelings are shame, regret, guilt, rage, sadness and anger. You can also start to stir up feelings of self-pity and blame, especially if you’ve made a mistake and upset someone unintentionally.
Writing your thoughts and feelings down when these memories pop up can help you to release and let them go. It can also help you get insight into where those thoughts, memories, and emotions came from originally. Usually, these memories and the emotions attached to them come from the ego, our identity, as well as our inner child.
When you write down these emotions and memories, you’ll begin to notice that most of them start with ‘I’, ‘me’, and ‘my’. These are the words we use when we talk through our ego, and this why it can ruin relationships. It has a self-righteous and selfish nature. Our ego doesn’t recognize other peoples feelings, and that’s why many relationships fail. Always remember that the past is in the past and the only reason why it is still affecting you even to this day is because you keep thinking about.
Sometimes you don’t even try to think about certain situations, but it eventually comes up to the surface by being in your imagination. Sometimes unpleasant memories can come into our consciousness, which can affect our mood, behavior, and thoughts about ourselves for the rest of the day. To overcome feeling controlled by your negative memories try to release and let go of what doesn’t serve you.
Memories are a just form of imagination, they come from the deep depths of our subconscious mind or our inner child, and this is where nightmares and bad dreams can manifest. Nightmares are only fragments of your imagination where there are negative emotions attached to them, such as fear. That can be anything you are fearful of. These fears can start in childhood, when we didn’t get the support or help we needed as children.
Dreams can be a powerful tool to use when you want to go on the path of self-discovery. They can teach us about what scares us, what makes us happy, give us insight into the near future, remind us of our past, and many other things. They allow us to learn to release burdens and heal from them so we can grow psychologically, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
When you release these memories and the negative emotions, you will begin to feel lighter emotionally and much more carefree and happy. Consistently living in the past will greatly affect your present as well as your future, because you will be constantly stuck in negative beliefs, thoughts, and feelings about yourself which will prevent you from moving forward. This is very common with people who have been cheated on or had their heartbroken in a previous relationship.
When they start seeing someone new, they begin to think about what happened to them in the past and worry about them repeating the same pain or memory in the future. This creates an immense amount of anxiety, insecurity, and fear about your current relationship. You begin to start being clingy, needy, possessive, and jealous towards your partner, which makes them feel uncomfortable and eventually making them want to break up with you.
This type of behaviour is very common in people who have a fear of abandonment, which I talked about in a previous post in detail. Sometimes people with a fear of abandonment can also close themselves up emotionally and tell themselves that they are destined to be alone, unloved, and broken so they avoid getting involved with anyone romantically again, so they don’t have to deal with the pain. This is not true, as everyone who is living on this planet is worthy and deserves to be loved and feel love.
Your ego and your inner critic wants you to believe those negative emotions, thoughts, and beliefs. Think about it this way, if you keep listening to your inner critic and your self-destructive ego, you will be continuously living in a toxic cycle that consists of self-sabotage, self pity, and victimization, which can affect your present as well as the future. Living in your past means you will only ever experience what you already know, you won’t ever allow yourself to open up to something new happening now.
You’ll find a lot of people who have been abused in the past, find it hard to feel secure in their mind, body and spirit, and the world around them. They lose sense of awareness and trust within themselves and others. Most of the time, people who have been abused suffer with distressing symptoms of PTSD, PTRD, CPTSD, anxiety, panic disorder, or depression, which requires professional help from a mental health practitioner.
The key word here is: release. When you allow yourself to release you naturally open yourself up to healing, which helps you grow and leave the past behind so you can live a brighter future. I believe emotional releasing is very underrated, especially when it’s done in a healthy way.
When you release your emotions as a daily ritual or on a regular basis, you start to understand yourself and the people around you better, which teaches you to feel empathy and compassion. This is what makes you grow to become awakened, happy, and free. Do not suffer in silence and bottle up the emotions that have been caused by your past. Instead, try talking to someone, writing it down, just find a way to let it go.
You deserve to be happy now and in the future. Do not let your past mistakes, mishaps, or traumas bring you down. Start believing in yourself today and live for a brighter day, week, month and year and be happy. Thank you for reading!
Especially with everything going on in the world right now, things can feel very mundane and a bit repetitive. Routines and repetition are great but everybody needs some of change sometimes. Lets get into some ways to freshen things up in your boring old life:
Change your routine. This is probably the simplest way to bring a new, fresh feeling into your day to day. You can add completely new activities or you can just change the order of things. Either way it will feel new and maybe even exciting depending on what you add!
Talk to someone new. Find a new friend! There’s so many ways to meet people on the internet nowadays.
Try something you’ve never done. You can cook a new recipe or try playing an instrument. If you fall in love with it or not doesn’t really matter. What’s important is to try it to figure out what your next step will be.
Learn a new skill. Learning new skill takes time and patience but it will add a long lasting satisfaction to your life and it can really switch up your entire lifestyle.
Try new decor. Bring a new plant into your home or try moving things around in your home to make it look different. Simply move things around until you like it and your space will have new energy.
Change of scenery. Switch up your usual places for certain tasks and activities. Change the place where you read, where you work, or where you work out.
Quit a bad habit. This one is neither simple nor quick, but I had to mention it since it’s one of the best ways to feel like a whole new and better person. Choose a habit that makes you feel bad and do your best to replace it with a good habit.
Change the time you wake up. This is a small change but waking up earlier/later can give you both more time and energy! Figuring out how much sleep you need and when is the best time to wake up for you can significantly improve your life.
Switch up your style. Combine the clothes you have in a new way, change up your hair, and get a crazy pedicure!
Change the way you work out. If you don’t have a way you move your body almost every day, find something you will truly enjoy. And if you do work out, try something new! You can do pilates, jogging, or weight lifting. Dancing and walking are both fun ways too! No matter what you’re doing now, go and try something else. You might even like it more!
At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.
Do you feel connected to yourself?
Your intuition is a part of yourself. It is always guiding you. However, most of us don’t listen to it because we feel we don’t have a strong bond with ourselves. We don’t trust ourselves, instead we trust everyone except us. To listen to it we need to start getting to know ourselves like a friend. This might sound weird to you, but if we don’t feel connected to ourselves we won’t know how to listen to ourselves either, because your intuition is a part of you. So always ask yourself: am I feeling a connection with myself, with the deepest parts of myself? Do I trust myself?
Talk to yourself
There are many ways to get in touch with yourself again and one of them is speaking to yourself. I know this might sound weird too! But believe me, it works. Talk to yourself about everything that is bothering you. Have a conversation with yourself.
Keep a journal
If you don’t want anyone to hear you then this one is for you! Writing in a journal is like talking to yourself but nobody can hear, so it’s perfect. You can write about anything you like. Write about how you feel, rant about anything, get everything out of your chest. My favorite thing to do when I journal is to list what is bothering me and then list every solution. You will be amazed when you do this, because there’s always a solution you can come up with.
When I first started listening to myself I realized I had a lot of fears and it was difficult to differentiate them from my intuition. Remember that you intuition is far away from your thoughts, so they’re not your fears. A way to listen to yourself more instead of your thoughts is meditating.
Do not think for a while:
If you really want to follow your intuition, do not think. Sometimes, when I lose something, I stay in a non-thinking state for a while and ask myself where is it. This has worked for me many times. When we over-think, instead of coming up with a solution, we come up with more problems, this is why meditating is so helpful!
The fear of intimacy is a very common fear to have, especially when we’re dating someone or looking for love for the first time after experiencing a break-up. You’ll often find people that have a subconscious fear of intimacy are in love with the romanticism behind the process of falling in love. I like to call this the ‘being in love with love syndrome’.
These people are in love with the ideology of feeling connected to someone on every level, but on the flip side, they are also afraid of showing their true selves because it brings up too much pain. Another trait that these people have is that they have a tendency to search for their soulmate or twin flame, but then once they have found what they’ve been looking for, they runaway from the connection, leaving the other person in the dark.
People who have a fear of intimacy also have a fear of being vulnerable, because they believe that is a sign of weakness. Infidelity and being addicted to dating and relationship hopping is very common with people who have a fear of intimacy.They can also become codependent, needy, possessive, jealous and desperate with the people they get romantically involved with. This can also happen with people who have a fear of abandonment, betrayal and rejection, which are usually linked with fear of intimacy as well. These fears are developed in our childhood, often when our parents fail to give us love, affection, a sense of emotional security and support when we needed it the most.
To overcome this destructive dynamic, you must inward and dive into your past, no matter how traumatic and painful it is for you. Your past has the answers to why you’re suffering now in the present moment. Healing your inner child is the only way you can overcome the fear of intimacy and any other fears you maybe holding on to.
Your inner child and your shadow self are the roots of all fear, anger, shame and guilt. On the positive side, your inner child is the home of joy, playfulness, creativity, curiosity, freedom, adventure, imagination and spontaneity. To access your inner child, you can do guided meditations and self-hypnosis sessions, as well as writing a letter to your adult self from your child self.
This simple exercise can be done by writing the letter in your left hand (or right hand), the hand which you don’t write with, as this engages your subconscious mind. Your dominant hand, will be your adult self, as you are right now in the present moment. It’s very important not to judge yourself or consciously think about what you are going to write, because when you do you’re coming from a place of resistance. The idea behind this exercise is to come from a place of compassion, acceptance, understanding and fluidity.
By doing this on a regular basis, you’ll start to gain insight and discover the root causes behind your fears and phobias that are attached to intimacy, relationships, sexuality and dating. It’s important to remember to not to give up hope, especially when you’re trying to overcome your fears about intimacy. Always have faith in yourself and believe in your own personal power, as this will improve your self confidence and self-worth in all aspects of your life, not just your love life.
The fear of intimacy is easy to overcome, once you know how. Don’t let the fear of intimacy stop you from experiencing the love you’ve always desired, you deserve better than that. You are worthy of being loved. Thank you for reading!
I’ve been beating myself up because of loneliness, laziness, and lack of motivation while in quarantine but I’m now realizing that this time alone is actually meant to be a blessing. This is a period where we can finally accomplish things we said we would do but never came around to. Here are some things you can do or work on during this time, so you can bounce back in silence when this is all behind us!
1. Get off social media. You’ve heard it before, you’re hearing it again. Even a few days break can do wonders for your mental health. I’ve been realizing that the reason why my confidence was constantly lowering was because I was comparing myself to the unrealistic standards of social media. Taking a few days off to remind yourself that you’re THAT BITCH, that you deserve the whole world, and that you are an human is so worth not checking what he posted on is story. Use the hours you save from social media to realize your dreams. Get on that grind, get that bread, raise those grades. When you think about it, you don’t even remember half the shit you see on social media, it’s a mindless way to waste such valuable time.
2. Take care of your health. Eat foods that fuel you. Stop skipping brushing your teeth, get your ass up and get those teeth SHINING. Wash your face, try new skincare remedies and products, figure out your skin undertone, type, what works for you etc. and arrange your beauty routine to fit that.
3. Stop with the excuses and start working for your dream body. The only person standing between you and that snatched body is, guess what, YOU! You are so much more powerful than you think you are, and once you realize that you CAN be one of those girls that wake up early to work out, that can CHUG that gallon of water like it ain’t nothing, that can RUN that mile your potential is endless. Just get up and get sweaty. Put in the work and the universe will put out the results.
4. Get in tune. Start a manifesting journal if you don’t have one already. Start a daily journal to write down what you’ve accomplished and how you’re feeling. I did this for 365 days last year when I was abroad, and reading it takes me back so vividly. It was probably the best decision I’ve ever made. Try meditating, yoga, and breathing mindfully. Make your house/room your sanctuary. Love the space you live in.
Add a little bit of SPICE to your life. Romanticize making that 1 minute pack of noodles. Stare out of your window as if you were in a music video. If we didn’t have those moments, what would life even be about? Reclaim your power and bounce back. A few months of consistent effort and you will be a new person. Thank you for reading!
Many blogs talk about self-care routines, but these routines aren’t just one size fits all. So, how do you make one that suits your needs? Let me give you some pointers on creating personalized self-care routines:
Divide your self care into 3 categories: Body, mind and soul. This is very vague, I know, but hold on I’ll explain.
Under the “body” category falls all the physical self care. It can be all those pleasures like that extra scoop of ice cream, or it can be taking care of your body even though it might not always be pleasant. Working out, yoga, and skin care are usually the basics. Sleep also falls under this category.
The “mind” category requires knowledge and entertainment. This type of self care includes investing time and/or money into courses, books, and other type of knowledge. Obviously it doesn’t have to involve money, you can learn things on the internet or explore what you already have.
The “soul” category is your mental health and well-being. It’s the category that involves taking a day off, watching a pleasant movie, meditating, or making art.
Think about each category and ask yourself what you need. You might be in a desperate need of more sleep for your body or you can be bored out of your mind, so you better go and learn something new. Your soul may also be starving or hurting, so don’t forget to pay attention to this part of you.
How much self-care do you need? Ask yourself how much of each thing you need. For some people self care can be working out every day and for others it can be watching a movie once a week.
Schedule it in. I mean it. Write it down into your calendar. It may seem silly or unnecessary but trust me, caring for you is one of the most important things you can do. Keeping yourself healthy and happy should always be your priority.
Now, go ahead and make your own personalized self-care routine! Thank you for reading.
Have you ever had one of those days where you feel sad, lonely, afraid or even depressed for no apparent reason? If you rhetorically answered yes to that question, you may well be suffering from a low spiritual vibration. Sadly, a lot of people in society today are either spiritually lazy, unconscious or being surrounded by negativity, and this is a shame and it needs to change.
I believe everyone in this world deserves to follow their bliss and live the life of their dreams no matter what age they are; whether they’re young or old. Many people are afraid of living a life that is pleasurable to them because they tell themselves that they are unworthy of being happy, that they could never be loved by someone dear to them, or they don’t have the belief that they can manifest their desires, hopes, or dreams for the future.
These are false beliefs that are buried deep within our subconscious mind and our inner child, otherwise known as the ego. These beliefs usually stem from our childhood, when we were just making sense of how the world works while by being guided and cared for by our parents who might have subconsciously let us down without being aware. This means that they might had let a stranger, another family member, acquaintance, spouse, partner or friend be rude or abusive to you as a child and not said anything back to them because of their own fears of confrontation, violence, and expressing their anger inappropriately.
This makes a child feel hurt, unworthy, guilty, ashamed and frightened by the outside world as well as their inner world. This treatment could lead a child to act dysfunctional as an adult, and the more a person does these behaviors, the more likely the viscous cycle will continue and cause destruction throughout their daily life. This consistently damaging cycle can lead the person into a dark, guilty, fearful and shameful place, which can develop into self-sabotage, self-pity, and depression.
Living at low frequencies as explained in this post, does not serve you, the people around you, or the planet. Everyone of us here on Earth has the right to experience miracles, joy, and blessings in our lives. You deserve to live a life that brings you abundance, prosperity, love, and happiness. You are special person that has a beautiful soul and does not deserve to live in pain, suffering, and feelings of worthlessness, anger, guilt, regret, narcissism, or codependency. Your body is a temple, so show it love, care for it and nurture it everyday. There is only one of you living on this planet, that is how sacred and special you truly are.
I recently helped my brother through making an organizational system since he had basically no system set in place. It was getting really difficult for him to get things done on time and to take care of himself on top of schoolwork and a job. After helping him establish a system that worked for him, I gave it some thought and decided to share my tips in hopes that it’ll help some of you. So, here it goes:
For starters, there has to be a desire to change things. The first step to making a substantial change is to acknowledge that there’s a problem in the first place. You need to have a system for managing your life, and if you don’t currently have one then you need to develop one and try to stick to it. And you can always change it up later if it’s not working! These are designed to help you and make life easier, not harder. And of course, as you grow, so does the way you organize your life.
Write a list of all your commitments. This can include things like work, school, a hobby, a club, taking care of yourself, or any other categories that are relevant to your life! Be as specific as possible to write down all of your recurring commitments, this will help you later in the process.
Figure out what isn’t working the most. What’s the biggest problem? Do you keep missing important things because you don’t remember when things are scheduled for? Is your email inbox overflowing? Do you start every day by scrambling around in the morning, unsure of what to do first? Do you keep turning in assignments late? All of the above? Figure out your most important problem to fix and make that your top priority for now. We can also address other issues, but this will be your main focus.
Brainstorm solutions to your main issue. Do you need to set up a calendar system? Need to sort through your email and create a system moving forward so it stays manageable? Do you need to set a specific morning routine? Need a planner or other time management system? Think of some solutions to your main issues and some reasonable, actionable steps that you can take to do it.
Take the first step towards tackling this issue. This can be a small step or a big step, whatever you have time for! If you need to set up a calendar system, for example, you could start by inputting important commitments for the upcoming week. If you need to figure out your email system, you could start by making a couple of folders to organize things. It’s totally up to you!
Once you’ve started to tackle your main issue, now it’s time to focus on how you want to be spending your days. Make a list of any habits you want to incorporate into your life on a regular basis (whether that’s daily, weekly, or monthly), and determine what specific days (and times, if applicable) you want to do each habit. If they are time-specific, put them into your calendar as a recurring event! These habits aren’t permanent, you can change them up as you go if you find they’re too much or not a right fit, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself! Also try to just focus on doing 2-5 things on a regular basis, since I’ve found doing any more than that can get overwhelming and frustrating. Start smaller, and you can always add more later.
Now for another list, this time it’s our short-term to do’s! What do you need to get done in the next week, or next few days? I find it helpful to sort tasks by categories based on my recurring commitment list, as well as a miscellaneous list for anything that doesn’t fit in the other categories. Write down the due dates next to each task, if they have one. Then, write down what day you want to work on each task, and try to estimate how much time each task will take. No worries if a task is going to take more than one day, just write it down for all of those days that you think it might take to complete it!
Then, write down a list of long-term to do’s! Not everyone will have stuff in this category, but this is for bigger tasks like essays or projects that need to be broken up into smaller steps. Write down any longer-term projects you have, and then below them write down some smaller steps that you need to do to build up to the completion of the project. Be as specific as possible! Then, write down “due dates” for each sub-task so that it’ll help to pace out the project over time instead of just doing everything at the last minute.
Look at your lists and ask yourself if all of them are entirely necessary. It’s okay if they’re all important, but taking time to consider if there’s anything you can cut down on to make your life a little easier can really pay off in the long run.
Make one last list for the next week or next couple of days, sorting through your habits, short-term to do’s, and long-term to do’s lists and order tasks based on what day they need to get done. For example, on Monday you might have to do laundry, to do a homework assignment, and to create an outline for your essay. If you have an overwhelming amount of stuff all on one day, try to re-allocate some of the tasks to other days if possible. Otherwise, at least you know ahead of time that it’s going to be a busy day and you can plan accordingly.
If you aren’t sure if you’ll remember to check your list, I’d recommend setting a reminder on your phone to check it every day. I’d also recommend taking a photo of your lists if you’re the kind of person who loses things!
The last step is to continue! Keep working on tackling your main issue and follow your lists to the best of your ability! Once you feel like you have a handle on things, then you can work towards getting a hold on another issue that you have with your organizational system! It’s totally okay to continuously revise your system, if anything it’s even better to keep improving it since continual progress is amazing!
Now that you have all the steps and tips, go ahead and start organizing that life of yours! Thank you for reading.
Sometimes you get stressed out and start to feel tired. You know, when you’ve piled up way too much on your plate, spread yourself too thin, and you’re just feeling utterly exhausted. This exhaustion rightfully turns into laziness, and in the end it all just makes us feel crappy. This sluggish feeling can affect our daily lives, especially if we have to go to school, work, or practice on a daily basis. And when our personal life begins to interfere with your work or professional life, things can feel a bit uneasy. So, here are some things you can do when you’re feeling sluggish so you can get back on your shit as soon as possible.
Take a shower. Whether or not you feel dirty does not matter, this should be your first step. The fresh smell of soap and washing away the tiredness/laziness will help you. Go with cold water to really get your brain and body awake.
Open the window. At least for a moment because fresh air brings energy. Refreshing the air in your space is important, especially if you have pets.
Clean up your space and make the bed. These tasks aren’t overly complicated and they set you into a productive mood. Plus an organized and cleaned space helps you feel more put together.
Go outside. Spend some time in nature and with animals. Going outside can feel grounding and make remind us of the beauty of our true home, Earth.
Move your body. When I’m in a slump it’s usually accompanied by an odd body stiffness, so get rid off that by doing yoga, stretching, going on a walk, or working out.
Make an exciting to do list. Easier said than done, I know… But try to add something that you like doing or gets you closer to your goals. It also never hurts to look up some inspiring people or even aesthetics.
Upbeat music. Listening to quick paced and upbeat music often helps me feel a bit more excited to live my life. Maybe even make a playlist for when you’re feeling extra sluggish.
Change your sheets and towels. This one isn’t absolutely necessary however fresh sheets and towels feel great and almost make things feel new.
Prepare for the next day. To avoid falling back to feeling lazy the next day, prepare your clothes, room, and to-do list for the upcoming day.
Practice these tips when you’re feeling sluggish to get back to feeling like you again. Thank you for reading!
What does it mean to surrender? Many people believe that the concept of surrendering is to give up and lose all hope and faith, when really it is the complete opposite. To fully surrender, you need to let go of control, fear, and worry. You must allow yourself to be present and flow with the forces of nature.
Sometimes in life, there are circumstances and situations that make us surrender and accept what is happening around us. For example, say a parent, pet, or close friend has suddenly gotten very sick and you are told that there is nothing that can help them recover. It is this kind of situation, although very emotionally challenging, that will put you into a position of surrender and letting go. Losing a loved one like this, can make people fight against the natural process of death, which can only create more stress, fear, trauma and anxiety in the long run.
On the flip side, being able to surrender when you are consistently chasing after your dream job or partner is very important too. When you stop chasing after things that will only give you happiness on the outside, you naturally allow positive things to flow into your life rather than forcing it. By forcing things to happen, this will only lead things to come back to you in a negative way, like feelings of depression, desperation, despair and anxiety.
This is very common within the dating world, as many people crave love, affection, and admiration from others. Some people may crave these things more than others, especially if they have been neglected, separated, or isolated as a child. These people are consistently looking for that love, which they didn’t receive as children and sometimes they can wind up developing a love addiction. These people are driven by the ideology of romanticism in romantic relationships, which can make them have excessively high expectations of others. By letting go of these ideologies and fantasies about love and romance, we can become much more attractive to the opposite sex.
Surrendering also allows us to be fully present and in touch with the real world around us, which stops us from getting hurt or disappointed if our ideas or visions aren’t met. The more we resist against the natural flow of life, the more unhappy and unsatisfied we become.
Knowing the art of surrender is the essential part of finding yourself and inner joy in your life – and remember, surrender isn’t losing all hope and giving up. It is about accepting where you are right now and allowing nature and the universe to lead you down your path without fear or doubt. Thank you for reading!
Such a large part of our lives is digital now and I have realized it sometimes makes me feel disconnected from my life and the things I make. I’m not saying technology is evil, it is the opposite. However, sometimes it’s necessary to connect to reconnect with yourself to feel human again. Here are some ways to disconnect from technology and feel real again:
Connect to your body
There are many ways you can connect to your body, here are a few ideas:
Breathing mindfully or meditation. Take time to sit and collect your thoughts but also practice slowing down in your daily activities, doing less, and doing it with presence and awareness. Don’t rush.
Move! Yoga is one of my favorite activities to connect to my body, but you can also stretch, workout, dance, and whatever else lets you move your body freely.
Physical self care. Do a face mask, run a bubble bath, deep condition your scalp, get a pedicure, book a massage, you get the deal. Do anything that you consider self care.
Being naked and getting intimate. When you’re naked you are with the purest, rawest version of your body. Cherish the moments after the shower and admire you truest form in the mirror. Making love and getting intimate is pretty straight forward, simply find pleasure with your body.
Spend time with people technology free
Of course right now, given the situation it’s not possible. However, right when things calm down, make sure to be with someone and really enjoy their company. Even when you’re spending time with family or friends, put the phone away. Some good tips are to make meal times phone free, limit phone use after a certain hour, and taking breaks from social media.
Make things with your hands
Have a hobby that makes you create physical things with your own hands. Something like cooking, sewing, gardening, embroidery, pottery, painting… Being able to see your creations in real life is an amazing feeling.
Sit in the sun
Feeling the sun on your skin grounds you to the earth and connects your body to the universe. Try sun-gazing as soon as you wake up to get the best effects.
Spend time in nature
There is something about reconnection with nature that always makes me feel at home and real. Walking barefoot on grass, gardening or spending time with animals is just so benefitial for you.
Make food, eat food, and be mindful about it
Preparing food and eating slowly connects you to what you are fueling your body with. Eat food that will do your body good and that you actually enjoy consuming and you’ll feel more connected to your food.
Go through an experience without taking photos
Very often I am the only one not taking photos or videos at concerts. It doesn’t make me a better person in any way. It’s just my decision to enjoy the moment for what it is.
Ego says, “If I manifest a new house, a relationship of my dreams, my dream career, more money, and everything I desire, then I’ll finally be happy.” Spirit says, “I am happy now, and that’s why all the things I desire will come to me naturally as a result of my internal state.”
This the reason why so many people can’t manifest or have difficulties with understanding the law of attraction. You can’t look for happiness outside yourself. You can’t wait for a material thing, a person, or perfect circumstances to make you happy. Happiness is an internal state, you can choose to be happy no matter what. You can consciously choose to change your frequency. When you change your vibrational frequency, everything in your life aligns with this new frequency. Real change always comes from within.
You can’t manifest anything in a state of lack. You have to feel full and content within to create anything new without. The Universe always gives you more of what you are focusing on. If you feel like only the external things can make you happy, you’ll always be chasing happiness, you’ll never achieve fulfillment. That’s why you should practice gratitude every single day. It will help you achieve a state of abundance; you will realize how much you already have. Learn how to appreciate every little thing, and your life will be truly magical and full of happiness.
Lets talk about a concept that many of us struggle with. When going through the manifestation process, detachment is often the one thing we struggle with most. ‘Detachment’ refers to the act of letting go of your attachment, obsession, and preoccupation of whatever you’re desiring.
Why Is It Important To Detach?
Manifestation is all about finding our own power through our relationship with the Universe. It is about co-creating with and trusting in the Universe. By anxiously holding on to the things we have placed in the Universe’s hands, we are basically saying “I don’t trust in this process”. When we don’t trust in the process, it closes us off to receiving all of the blessings and opportunities that the Universe has to offer us.
Okay, So How Do I Detach?
The key to staying detached is to build a solid relationship with the Universe! Think about it – if we know and understand what we’re working with, it will be so much easier to trust in the process. If you were asked to place your entire future in the hands of a stranger, what would you say? You would probably say no! Manifestation requires deep, unwavering trust. In order to build that trust, you have to build a relationship first.
You also have to build a strong relationship with yourself! Don’t forget, you are an important part of the equation. If you don’t trust in yourself, you will have a difficult time manifesting the deeper stuff.
So, How Do I Build A Connection With The Universe?
First, decide how you view the Universe. Do you believe the Universe is conscious energy? Do you believe in a Goddess or God? Maybe the Universe isn’t something spiritual to you. All of these beliefs are fine! What’s most important is that you get clear on your definition of the Universe.
If you believe in a God/Goddess you may want to begin connecting through ritual, prayer, and devotion. Consistency is key! If you take a more agnostic or atheistic view on the Universe, you should think about how you relate to the Universe. How does the flow of the Universe affect you on a daily basis? It could also help to study how the Universe works! When we understand something, it becomes easier to trust it.
But I’m Still Anxious! What Do I Do?
Keep focusing on your relationship with your Universe! Ask the Universe to send you signs or confirmation. Speak with the Universe. Write down all of those doubts and fears. It is normal to feel anxious when we are handing over our desires. The most important thing is that we continuously choose to lean towards the path of trust, even when we’re freaked the fuck out!
Ever since the beginning of time, us humans have been on a life long mission to find one thing – love. We spend hours, months even years trying to find that ideal partner through online dating apps, dating gurus, self help books and speed dating. However, all this only helps to a certain extent.
You cannot chase after anything in life because it will become further and further away from you. The more you force something into action, the more you repel it from coming to you. When it comes to love and matters of the heart, it is very easy to let our emotional brain take over and search for someone who will makes feel wanted, whole, and validated. This attitude is what causes us to come into trouble because it attracts the wrong partners to us.
The key secret to finding long lasting love is to see yourself whole, loved, and nurtured even when you’re currently single. The idea is to become your own very best friend. By doing this, you naturally attract people to you without forcing it – it just flows towards you without any effort. I know that this is easier said than done, and the journey towards self-love and self-realization can be a challenging ride.
So how do you know you’re in a truly loving relationship with someone? Well, in this article, I will be telling you all of the signs of a very special connection in a romantic relationship. Do not confuse this with infatuation, since this can fade very quickly. Infatuation is the obsessive, day-dreamy, lusty type of sexual attraction, which is a part of love but its not a main component that keeps couples together for the long run. People who are infatuated have a completely different brain chemistry than that of people in love. Infatuation causes our brain to drop in serotonin (making us being more prone to obsession), a rise in dopamine (which makes us excited about someone and wanting to get sexual pleasure from them), and a rise in adrenaline and cortisol (which makes us sweaty, anxious and our hearts race around our object of desire).
Couples who are still happily in love after several decades show higher levels of oxytocin and vasopressin. These two hormones are released by the body when we are connected to someone on an intimate level through sexual intercourse, hugging, touching and kissing. Oxytocin is mainly released during orgasm, which is why they feel so soothing, nurturing and relaxing afterwards. We are also more likely cuddle our partner after an orgasm, due to the rise of oxytocin in our bloodstream and brain. This hormone is also present during times of heartbreak, because its main role in human physiology is bonding and connection. This is why we chase after the ones who dumped us and those who ran away from us.
Look out for these top eight signs you’re in a loving relationship:
1. You have a sense of trust within yourself and your partner
Trust is a very important value and attribute when it comes to intimate and romantic relationships, especially when rates of infidelity and affairs are on the rise amongst modern relationships. When you have faith within yourself and your partner, this creates no space for any insecurities to arise to the surface, hence why you do not need to worry about your partner cheating on you or leaving you for someone else. You and your intuition know how much they love you and they know how much that would hurt you.
2. You are still both fascinated with each other, like you were when you very first met
When you’re together it feels like a child exploring the world for the very first time and they can’t get enough of it. They are completely mesmerised with your beauty, as much as you are with theirs. When you make eye contact, it feels like the essence of time has stood still for a brief moment. You feel like you can look deep into their soul for eternity. Every moment you spend with them, no matter how dull it may be, feels like an adventure.
3. Open communication
When it comes to deep personal issues, you do not feel the need to lie or hide away from something that is distressing you. Being emotionally vulnerable and intimate is easy between the two of you, and you are able to discuss things without any forms of resistance. You don’t feel afraid talking about your feelings to your partner and neither do they with you.
4. You can easily forgive each other for your mistakes
Forgiveness is very important in all walks of life, not just in romantic relationships. No one is flawless or perfect and everyone makes mistakes as this is a big part of self growth, learning, and at the end of the day, being a human. When you’re truly in love with someone, you completely understand this and accept them for who they are and look past the mistakes. You both believe that holding grudges against each other is a waste of energy after a small argument and think that life is far too short for negative feelings.
5. You’ve stuck together through thick and thin
Most incompatible and short-term relationships do not last during times of difficulty or crisis, because this is when our insecurities, weaknesses and emotional outbursts are most likely to come up. When we’re with someone who is incompatible with us, they do not understand our emotional needs, feelings, or thoughts during tough times, so they leave us because they tell themselves that it is too ‘messy’. However, when you are with someone who is totally devoted to you, they will always be there for you no matter what the situation is or how hard it may be.
6. They make you laugh like no one else does
They always say laughter is the best medicine, and there’s nothing better in this world than your special someone making you cry of laughter. The things they say and do give you so much joy and pleasure like nothing else and you couldn’t ask for a better person.When you’re with them or thinking about them, they never fail to put a smile on your face, even when you’re having a bad day.
7. You are still both magnetically drawn and highly attracted to one another after several years of dating or marriage
Sexual attraction is an important building block to having a long lasting loving relationship. Without it, there cannot be any chance of chemistry developing, which is essential to building a connection to someone of romantic interest. Most of the time, this sexual attraction fades away, which causes many couples to drift apart from each other. This is usually caused by superficial love or conditional love which is driven by our ego, not our true sense of self. When you’re dating someone who is compatible on every level, they will always think and tell you how sexy you are to them even when you’re having a bad hair day or down with a cold.
8. You don’t want to be with anyone else in the world, but them
You know how special you are to them and they know how special they are to you. There is no one in this world that makes you happier, safer, and loved for who you are. You love how the both of you can feel free with one another and have fun in each other’s company. Being without them in your life would feel alien to you. They are your complementary companion that makes you feel on top of the world.
If your relationship doesn’t check off all these boxes don’t worry. Just focus on building your relationship to be as loving as it can be. Thank you so much for reading!
There are so many people who decide to set a new year’s resolution after the Christmas period, but never stick to it. Weight loss is a classic, if not stereotypical new year’s resolution to set for ourselves – especially when we feel guilty for over-indulging during the festive season. It’s this thought pattern of guilt, making us feel like we have to go to the gym because we are ashamed of how much weight we have gained in such little amount of time. Too many people try and lose weight for one month (maybe not even that), to get rid of the feelings of guilt, rather than having the determination to incorporate diet and exercise into their routine and making it a lifestyle.
It’s this attitude that gets you results in the long run. When you find eating healthy and exercising fun instead of a chore, you are more likely to stick to your ‘goals’ and make them into a lifestyle. Goals are never about the destination, they are about being open to go on a journey. When you accept that it is a journey, you begin to learn that its okay to have obstacles and mishaps and finally wave goodbye to a fear of failure for good. No one on this planet is perfect and gets everything easy, no matter how ‘perfect’ their life seems to you. Everyone has to go through rough patches in their lives and no one has it completely smooth the whole way through, life just doesn’t work like that – unfortunately. It’s these rough patches, failures and mistakes that make us stronger and without going through them its impossible to grow emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Think about it this way, if everyone was perfect without any flaws at all, none of us would grow and it would make the whole of humanity stagnant and stuck and not going anywhere. Flaws in a way, are a blessing really because they cause us to go inside ourselves, which invites us to go on a journey of introspection and self-discovery. This is the path that heals us from our past to create a more meaningful present and a brighter future in all aspects of our lives. So be accepting to your imperfections, they are much more important to you than the things that you like about yourself. Really think about that because its true.
Another mistake people make when they are setting goals for themselves is to focus on the desired measurement, weight or dress size by a certain time. This is a massive mistake to make because by doing this, you are only making self sabotage your destiny, not the body you’d hoped for. It doesn’t have to be weight loss related either. This happens with any type of goal you’ve set for yourself, but weight loss is a great example. So many people focus on getting the desired weight they desperately want that they lose the enjoyment of it to the point of obsession. This is how eating disorders develop into a viscous cycle that is hard to stop. Instead of obsessing over numbers, gravitate your awareness more to how you feel. When you choose to eat healthy and exercise because it makes you feel good and happy, you care less about statistics and society’s ideals.
Also stop comparing your body or life to someone on social media because this is no good either. When you do this, it encourages you to comparison and self-pity, which definitely doesn’t make you happy at all. Images on social media are heavily adulterated, to the point of them being unrealistic. Doing this will not help you achieve your dreams, it will only hinder it. Stop putting high expectations on yourself and surrender to your own journey. No journey is the same, each and every one of them is unique. Forget about your goals and begin your journey today, in this present moment.