The fear of intimacy is a very common fear to have, especially when we’re dating someone or looking for love for the first time after experiencing a break-up. You’ll often find people that have a subconscious fear of intimacy are in love with the romanticism behind the process of falling in love. I like to call this the ‘being in love with love syndrome’.
These people are in love with the ideology of feeling connected to someone on every level, but on the flip side, they are also afraid of showing their true selves because it brings up too much pain. Another trait that these people have is that they have a tendency to search for their soulmate or twin flame, but then once they have found what they’ve been looking for, they runaway from the connection, leaving the other person in the dark.
People who have a fear of intimacy also have a fear of being vulnerable, because they believe that is a sign of weakness. Infidelity and being addicted to dating and relationship hopping is very common with people who have a fear of intimacy.They can also become codependent, needy, possessive, jealous and desperate with the people they get romantically involved with. This can also happen with people who have a fear of abandonment, betrayal and rejection, which are usually linked with fear of intimacy as well. These fears are developed in our childhood, often when our parents fail to give us love, affection, a sense of emotional security and support when we needed it the most.
To overcome this destructive dynamic, you must inward and dive into your past, no matter how traumatic and painful it is for you. Your past has the answers to why you’re suffering now in the present moment. Healing your inner child is the only way you can overcome the fear of intimacy and any other fears you maybe holding on to.
Your inner child and your shadow self are the roots of all fear, anger, shame and guilt. On the positive side, your inner child is the home of joy, playfulness, creativity, curiosity, freedom, adventure, imagination and spontaneity. To access your inner child, you can do guided meditations and self-hypnosis sessions, as well as writing a letter to your adult self from your child self.
This simple exercise can be done by writing the letter in your left hand (or right hand), the hand which you don’t write with, as this engages your subconscious mind. Your dominant hand, will be your adult self, as you are right now in the present moment. It’s very important not to judge yourself or consciously think about what you are going to write, because when you do you’re coming from a place of resistance. The idea behind this exercise is to come from a place of compassion, acceptance, understanding and fluidity.
By doing this on a regular basis, you’ll start to gain insight and discover the root causes behind your fears and phobias that are attached to intimacy, relationships, sexuality and dating. It’s important to remember to not to give up hope, especially when you’re trying to overcome your fears about intimacy. Always have faith in yourself and believe in your own personal power, as this will improve your self confidence and self-worth in all aspects of your life, not just your love life.
The fear of intimacy is easy to overcome, once you know how. Don’t let the fear of intimacy stop you from experiencing the love you’ve always desired, you deserve better than that. You are worthy of being loved. Thank you for reading!